This is why it crossed the road

Get the best chicken you can afford and ignore the packet cooking instructions but make sure you know how much it weighs

Yes, I know it sounds weird: Bonkers but beautiful

This is adapted from a recipe in Sophie Grigson's Eat Your Greens - the only book on cooking vegetables anyone needs

It's lots of butter and is the basis of any Cheese Sauce, Parsely Sauce, or . . . you get the idea

It's simple but you can cock it up if you try to rush it. But then it only takes a couple of minutes anyway so why mess around? this makes about half a pint but you just increase each of the ingredients in this proportion. the important bit s that you have equal amounts (weight) of butter and flour

Bechemal for grown-ups. You don’t always want milk in your dinner unless you’re 1yrs old.

Velouté is based on a roux in the same way as Bechemal but you add stock, wine or something else instead of milk. The classic velouté is a “white stock”; not beef or lamb, so think fish, chicken or veg. The absolute classic is veal stock.

Chicken and wine - them Frenchies know what they're about!

Not the best picture in the world I'll grant you but a lovely thing

To do this properly, 1lb of spuds to 1lb of butter. Not healthy but who cares?

Seems silly even putting this is in – how hard can it be, right? Just boil the potatoes – it doesn’t really matter what type but, again, floury makes your job easier.

When life gives you lemons, make a posset…

… or a Gin and Tonic. Your call but I’m less interested in the posset now I've though of that.